Balboa: What do you like best about being a dog?
Ruby: Well, Balboa I don't know anything else so I like EVERYTHING best - hee, hee, hee. Actually, I like NOT having to work. I like that I can sniff other dogs butts and no one thinks I'm weird. I like footie massages from my Auntie Yvette, I like bully sticks and I like snuggling with my Mom. If a hooman tried these things (I guess except for the work and the snuggle thing - but my Mom is very particular on who she snuggles with) they would probably get sent away to the crazy house!
Balboa: If you were elected President of the United States, what three things would you do first? Why?
Ruby: Balboa, this is a very important question. I've thought a lot about it. Now I'm not saying I'm going to run or anything, so don't get the wrong idea, ok? But I do have some very definite opinions...
My Fellow Americans...I am not a Boston Terrier...opps, yes I am!A while back a friend of mine, let's just call him S. made a very good observation. How is it that so many of us...all different breeds and even different species can manage to get along? Well I agree with S. and if I were President I would make sure that our county would settle our differences in a civilized way, just like us pups do. To ensure this, I would pass legislation which would outlaw wars of any kind.
Next, I would pass a Zero Tolerance law that would punish any stoopid hooman who commits acts of neglect, abuse or abandonment to any animal! It is inexcusable and just plain wrong. I don't think that needs much more explanation, do you? Take THAT Michael Vick!!!
And finally let me tell you about this family in Texas. They are five very cheery pups, all different kinds (no, I'm not talking about the Jolie-Pitts) with lots of special needs. They are a special family and their Mom has done a lot to ensure their health, happiness and quality of life. Without her, who knows what would have happened to these pups! For people like her as well as the average pet owner who is willing to give of their lives I feel there should be a tax deduction (much like what hoomans get for having people pups). I feel very strongly about this, especially for families who have dedicated their lives to helping rescue pups from horrible fates.
As you can see Balboa, I have thought a lot about this and many other things, but like I said this shouldn't be taken as a statement of my candidacy. Got it?
Balboa: Would you choose a forty-minute foot massages by Auntie Yvette or a box of forty cuzes? Explain your answer.
Ruby: I hope Joe doesn't think less of me, but I'd have to say a forty-minute footie massage from Auntie Yvette...and not a second less!!! I love my Auntie Yvette...she's probably my most favorite person next to my Mom of course. And she's the only person who I'll let give me footie massages..it's our thing. I love the way her little (stinky-hee, hee, hee) feet tickle my tummy...love, love, love.
Balboa: You've been asked to design the "perfect" doggie toy, what would come up with?
Ruby: What a great job that would be!!! I would have to say it would be the perfect combination of something bouncy, something stuffy, something I could chew and something I could chase. Oh and it would need to taste/smell like salmon and never die. Oh, I'm just drooling thinking about it, aren't you???
Balboa: What would you describe as the perfect date for you and your beau Stanley?
Ruby: You know Balboa, I'm a simple girl. I think an evening with my Stanny would be a quiet night...first we'd have dinner at our favorite Italian restaurant.
Ruby and the StanNext we could come back to my place where we'd work off that huge plate of spaghetti and meatballs by wrasslin and a mean game of bitey face. Mom would give us a frosty paw or maybe a homemade cookie to share. Than me and my Stanny would snuggle up in front of the fire and nap. Doesn't that sound nice? I'm sure your Fig would enjoy an evening like that too...hey maybe we could double date sometime???
Thanks Balboa for the fine interview. And you didn't even make me cry like that Barbara Walters lady! Hey, if there are any pups out there who would like me to interview them, let me know. Here's how to play...
These are the rules:
1. If you are interested in being interviewed, leave me a comment saying, 'interview me.'
2. I will respond by posting five questions for you. I get to pick the questions.
3. You will update your blog with a post containing your answers to the questions.
4. You will include this explanation and an offer to interview someone else in the same post.
5. When others comment asking to be interviewed, you will ask them five questions.
